in rhyme we have reason.

most of the time i feel as though the only way anyone can understand or know me is through my written words. it is my only honest voice. i cringe when i speak; atonished by my chosen words or the lack thereof. i find myself to be terrible with verbal communication, yet in type i can reason, i can come to conclusions, i can have opinions, i can persuade, i can just be me. i suppose this is the result of some underlying barrier i have forced upon myself; ultimately due to some bitter experience. last night i said that conversation was fake. that it is piled down with barriers &that i hardly believe in it. &for the time being i will keep to that, i will continue to write as if my only audience is my own eyes rereading each line, &i will continue to put myself in situations/experiences that force me to feel, understand, &create a perspective. because for the time being turning experience into written words is my only way of communicating, correctly. this journal will be everything. another way in which i expose myself, for myself &whomever. another attempt at tearing down some barrier &at understanding myself better, so i can be..that much more.